Who Loves Ya, Baby?

    
Theo Kojak played an important role in my upbringing. He and my mother had some sort of thing on the side, or so it seemed, along with a whole lot of other women back in the '70s. My sister and I heard, "Who loves ya, baby?" about as often as we heard, "Does a wild bear live in the woods?" But that is a post for another day.

Telly Savalas, if we're honest, was an inordinately unattractive man. No offense to bald-headed men or people of Greek descent, but he was not what you would call an Adonis. (There is Greek, and then there is Greek...) So why all the swooning, Mom?

Why did you love him, Mom? It was a fair question for a 13-year-old kid to ask her mother in 1973.  My answer to his question, "who loves you?" back then was, "Not you I hope." Let's face it, he didn't look a thing like Donny Osmond.

But Kojak's question is also a fair one. And it is being asked again, by corporate America, as it is always asked, on February 14.

Who loves YOU, baby?

For women, Valentine's Day can be bittersweet (pun intended.) It invokes a series of mental floggings that attempt to answer the question: "Who loves me?" Am I in a relationship? If I'm not, what is wrong with me? If I am, is that relationship working? Where is the relationship going? Will it last? What if it doesn't last? If it doesn't last, what will I do? Will I be lonely? Will I always be alone? Will someone remember me on that stupid day? (It's pretty messy in there, between those  double-x chromosome ears.) We spend a lot of time trying to answer Theo Kojak's question. And many of us, myself included, get it wrong every time.

Corporate America wants the answer to the question to be demonstrated at the cash register. Flowers, jewelry, candy, cards, a plush animal holding a puffy red keyboard with the words, "You're my tweetie," on it. We have been trained to associate a price tag with depth of feeling.

But unless and until the answer to the question, "Who loves ya, baby?" is ME, it can be difficult for anyone else to love you. That is the beauty, the genuine beauty, of Theo Kojak.

He was confident, strong, fearless, yes. All those things are true. But even if you are not those things, you can still be just like him. Because Theo Kojak was the best Theo Kojak he could be, flaws and all. And who else, really, could have been him better? Who else, alive on this planet today, or anyone else who has come and gone, or who WILL come and go, can do you better than you?

Now really, you gotta love that.

So whether you have a big nose, a bald head, a curious oral fixation, wear a stupid hat, are slightly overweight, or have any one of a million different flaws or idiosyncrasies that make you the unique and beautiful person that you are, Be the best you you can be. BeYOUtiful. And when the answer to the question, "Who loves ya, baby?" is unequivocally, "I love me," you'll be amazed at how unimportant external justification can be. And how much of a people magnet you have curiously become.

Happy Valentine's Day!